Blue
by Ddriana
Summary: Tom's diary was capable of a little bit more than merely showing what had happened in the past.


Sometimes I just wish I could go away, just for a little while. It all becomes so suffocating at times...  
  
Ginny, there is something I have been meaning to ask you.  
  
What is that?  
  
Would you want me to become real, just for a little while?  
  
I'm not sure what you mean.  
  
I could be more than just diary, if you want me to.  
  
You mean you could be with me, here, in the real world?  
  
Not quiet like that, I am afraid.  
  
Oh. Then how?  
  
I can allow you into me. I can show you a few memories of my own, if  
you like, but there are also a few rooms so well memorized that we  
could interact in them.  
  
Really?  
  
Yes. Would you like that?  
  
Oh, I would. It would be so much better to talk to you in person. Not that I don't like things like this, of course, it's just... it would be different.  
  
I understand. However, there is a downside to this.  
  
What is it?  
  
I will have to drain some energy from you in order to make me strong  
enough to interact with you. It will not be much, but I would be lying  
if I would say that I was not a bit concerned about your well being.  
  
If it is just a little bit of energy then that is fine, I think. Can we do it right away?  
  
Are you sure about this?  
  
Yes, of course.  
  
Very well, let me just show you the words you have to write...

_   
  
His eyes were blue._Tom?  
  
Ginny, it is good to see you after all this time.  
  
Is... is this really you?  
  
Yes, and thanks to you, Ginny, I am very real now. See? Can you feel  
me?  
  
Yes... Oh, this is brilliant! But Tom... where are we?  
  
We are in the dormitory I lived in while I was going to Hogwarts. This  
bed is mine, but I am afraid that there is not much here in the form of  
belongings.  
  
Oh, that is alright. But...  
  
Yes?  
  
Won't your roommates come?  
  
No, I have been alone up until now. Aside from me, you are the only one  
who has seen these rooms.  
  
So we could do anything we wanted here without having to worry?  
  
Of course. You have such a pretty smile, Ginny.

__

_Blue._

Tom, will you let me in again?  
  
Of course, Ginny. Just write the words.  
  
Tom, it's awful. It's all awful. I wish I hadn't come here at all! People are so mean and they laugh and my books are worn and I can't remember the things I should and the teacher asked me and I couldn't answer and Fred and George are picking on me again and I just wish they would all stop...  
  
Ginny, Ginny, calm down. I could barely hear half of that. Why don't  
you take it from the beginning?  
  
I want to go home again... but not really. I don't want to go home either. I wish Bill was home, then I would like to go home, but not now, mom is so suffocating and bothersome. I don't want to be the youngest and... and I wish they would all stop.  
  
I know, Ginny, I know, but there are some things you can't change.  
  
I want to change it. I don't want them to laugh and... and...  
  
Why don't you tell me about your day? I might not be able to make it  
all better but I am sure it will help to talk about it.  
  
Oh, you are the only one who understands, Tom.  
  
Come here...  
  
You're warm... I... I don't know why but I thought you would be cold.  
  
You have made me more alive, but that is not really important. Tell me  
what happened.

_Blue. Sapphires._I wish I could stay here with you.  
  
I wish you could, too, I am never lonely with you around. However, it  
wouldn't be good for you. It would drain too much of your own energy.  
  
I don't care.  
  
Perhaps, but I don't want you to get hurt, you know that.  
  
But it is so much nicer here... oh, what is in this?  
  
My old school books. I recon you use updated editions of some of those;  
they rarely change the books it seems.  
  
I think so... I recognize some of these titles. Oh, I have this one, but the cover is different.  
  
Ah, Bagshott, and I assume Professor Binns is as boring in death as he  
was in life?  
  
It wouldn't surprise me. You know, I think your bed is a bit softer than mine.  
  
Oh?  
  
Mine is pretty stiff, especially in the mid section. Yours is all nice and soft. It's almost as if I could fall right through. I think I am going to rest for a little bit, you don't mind, do you?  
  
Not at all, but don't you want to tell me why you came here?  
  
I wanted to see you again and... and people are so horrible again. Professor Snape is so mean; I can't believe they even allow him to teach. He took one look at me and just seemed to decide that he hated me. He is so unfair...  
  
Some teachers are like that. Some of them are nicer to you if you are  
nice to them, and some are hopeless and best left ignored all together.  
  
But he's so horrible! It is as if he isn't even human, as if he doesn't understand that he's being mean or... or as if he just likes being mean. I didn't even do anything and he still hated me, and it's just getting worse and worse and I can't stand it. He looms over you like some great bat and you just can't think straight when he does and I can't remember all the things I should remember and he gets angry when you don't know the answer when he asks a question, but it is as if he doesn't care that you know it when you do, and he scares me. He really scares me, Tom.  
  
Come now, tell me about this professor Snape. Maybe I can think of  
something to make things better if I know what he is like._Blue. The sky during those beautiful spring days._

I suppose I'll try that, it's just that I can't seem to speak whenever he's around and... and I just feel silly.  
  
Ginny, you said you had trouble with the homework earlier. I believe I  
have found a way to help you. I will need you to say those words again  
first, though.  
  
Alright. What did you have in mind?  
  
Here, let me show you. It's a bit complicated, but we'll manage.  
  
What is that for?  
  
This? Oh, here, take a look at the notes.  
  
Tom, I'm not sure about this.  
  
I know it seems weird, Ginny, but don't worry. I am your friend. I just  
want to help you.  
  
I... I suppose.  
  
I don't want them to laugh at you again; I don't want you to be sad  
like that again. This would help you, I promise. But if you don't want  
to that is alright, of course.  
  
No, no I trust you, Tom.  
  
Are you sure you want to do this? It isn't too weird for you?  
  
No, it's just a spell, right?  
  
I knew you would understand once you had thought it through.  
  
So, should I do it now, then?  
  
Yes, as soon as you are ready. I do enjoy spending time with you,  
Ginny, but it is at your expense.  
  
I know.  
  
Alright, lie down on the bed then. I have prepared everything already.  
  
Will it really help?  
  
Of course. I'll make sure you always remember the answers, trust me.  
You will know them like the back of your hand.  
  
It tickles.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
It's alright. It is pretty fun, actually.  
  
It is, isn't it?  
  
Did you ever do something like this?  
  
Once or twice.  
  
Tom!  
  
What is the matter?  
  
It won't show, will it? The ink, I mean, it won't show... oh, people won't be able to see, will they?  
  
Of course not, don't worry. It will fade once it is done. Not even your  
fair skin will show the slightest sign of this kind of magic.  
  
You're sure?  
  
Trust me, Ginny.  
  
I do, but...  
  
Let me show you then.  
  
Show me?  
  
Here. Do you see anything on my skin? Look close, Ginny, is there even  
the smallest hint?  
  
No... no, that is true. Oh, I'm sorry for being silly, Tom. Do continue.  
  
I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that, right?  
  
Of course I do, Tom, of course I do. I was just being silly. I think I understand things better even now.  
  
See? I promise, you'll remember everything better after this, as if you  
could read it on your skin even when the ink has faded.

_Blue. Rainy Sundays._Thank you so much! Oh, Tom, it worked, it really worked. I didn't believe it would! I mean, I trust you and everything but I was so sure all your work would be in vain and oh... You're just perfect, you know that?  
  
Why, thank you.  
  
Haha, you're just like a friend I can keep in my pocket. A whole world just for me. I don't know what I would do without you, Tom. You're the only one who understands.  
  
Now, now, I am sure there are others. What about your family? Don't  
they understand, just a little at least?  
  
No, no they don't. I know it sounds awful but it's true. They really don't understand anything at all. And don't say that they do now! You always say such nice things and I wish they were true but some things just... well, they don't understand me at all.  
  
I see. What about your friends? There has to be someone else.  
  
They don't understand at all. Actually, they're not all that great to begin with. They're not you, to begin with.  
  
Good, I would be most concerned if they were.  
  
Oh, you know what I mean.  
  
Yes, I suppose I do._Blue. The sea during autumn evenings._Oh, Tom it was so embarrassing! And he was right there! I just can't believe it happened, I couldn't even say anything in my defense! That Malfoy was just so awful, and... and...  
  
Come here, Ginny. Relax; tell me everything from the beginning. Does it  
concern Harry Potter?  
  
Yes, oh, it was horrible! It's Valentine's Day and everything and there are these dwarves running around dressed up as cupids and they are singing love poems and everything. You write some thing and tell them who to sing it to and they do, that sort of thing...  
  
I see.  
  
And... and he was right there...  
  
Harry Potter?  
  
Yes, and... and this dwarf comes up to him and forces him to listen to some poem and... and it wasn't really good or anything and then Malfoy...  
  
Is this the Malfoy you mentioned earlier, the one Percy saved you from?  
  
Well, not so much saved as intervened, but yes, I guess he did. But yes, that was him and he is just so mean. I can see why Snape loves him, they are just such a perfect match. Oh, I wish they would both just go away.  
  
Don't cry, Ginny, you're too pretty to cry.  
  
I don't feel pretty... besides, Harry was there and I didn't think he saw me, and I really didn't think Malfoy saw me, but he did.  
  
What happened then?  
  
Oh, he said that I was the one who had sent the poem! And I hadn't! And I am so sure Harry thinks I did it and it was such an awful poem, and I don't want him to know that I love him, and Malfoy out of all people! The only thing worse would have been if... if it was Snape, or maybe not even then. Ugh, it was just so horrible and embarrassing. I don't think I can see him ever again.  
  
Now, you know that isn't true.  
  
It is! I will never be able to look at him again when he thinks I sent him that... that thing! It wasn't even good! Oh, I know I said I was tired of being invisible and everything but now I really wish I was, I just want to disappear.  
  
Is that why you came here?  
  
Yes, you make everything so much better, Tom. You understand me, and you're so kind and you make me feel safe. Sometimes I think it would just be better to lay her with you instead of going back to class and my family and my so-called friends and the homework and Harry and... and everything.  
  
I would like you to stay very much, Ginny, but you know you can't stay  
here for long periods of time. It is not good for you.  
  
I know, Tom, I know. Just for now, I want to stay with you just for now.  
  
Alright. You have pretty hair, Ginny, you know that?  
  
My entire family has it, it's nothing, it's just... stupid.  
  
I think it is very pretty.  
  
Really?  
  
Really.  
  
You're not just saying that to be nice?  
  
No, I mean it.  
  
No, you don't...  
  
I do. Hrm... Ginny...  
  
What?  
  
No, nothing.  
  
What? Tell me.  
  
Well, I was thinking... There is something I have wanted to try..._Blue. Depression._Tom... the things that have been happening, I... I don't know but I think it might be me. I think I might be the one killing those roosters.  
  
Why would you think something like that?  
  
Because... because there are times when I can't remember what I have been doing, and... and I have been snapping out of them and had blood on my robes or... or feathers, chicken feathers, and then I hear that Hagrid has lost another the next day and I just don't know what else to think.  
  
But you wouldn't want to hurt any of those roosters, would you? I never  
thought of you as someone who would hurt any animal, you are far too  
sweet for that.  
  
But I don't know what else to think, Tom, I just... I just don't know...  
  
How often has this happened?  
  
A couple of times, maybe three or so, oh, I'm so scared, Tom. What if it is me? They might expel me, and then I'll never become a proper witch and I don't want to go back home and you keep saying that I can't stay with you even though I want to, oh I really want to, Tom. I want to stay with you for the rest of my life, I just can't stand it all... it's just too much right now, just too much...  
  
Now, Ginny, I know it is difficult right now but soon they'll catch  
whoever is doing this, for sure.  
  
But what if it is me?  
  
It can't be you, you would never hurt an animal, you know that.  
  
But what about the blood and... and feathers and...  
  
Now, now, you would never do something like that under normal  
circumstances, you know that just as well as I do. I am sure your  
teachers do to.  
  
But...  
  
They'll catch whoever is doing this... or maybe he will even stop and  
they will forget. You don't have to worry about this, Ginny, you worry  
too much.  
  
I'm just scared I suppose, but... but it is a bit creepy that I can't remember and... and with the blood and all...  
  
Maybe it would help if you surrounded yourself with other people during  
the day? That way they could tell you what you were doing if you have  
an episode like that again.  
  
I... I guess so. Yes, that seems logical...  
  
I am sure everything will work out just fine. Everything has so far,  
hasn't it?  
  
Yes, I suppose you're right, Tom. Everything feels so much better like this... I don't think I ever want to leave...  
  
I really like your eyes... they go so well with your hair, it makes you  
look so alive.  
  
You're being silly again...  
  
Am not, not really.  
  
Just a little bit.  
  
Perhaps a little bit then, but I mean it.  
  
You're so warm and nice... do I really have to go back?  
  
You can stay a while longer, I think.  
  
Good, good...  
  
Ginny?  
  
Hm?  
  
How about we do that again?  
  
I don't know. It was a bit... weird.  
  
Don't worry about it, Ginny, don't worry. You can trust me.   
_  
  
His eyes were blue with a tint of green. _

_Forget-me-nots. _

_His eyes were the color of forget-me-nots._


End file.
